Perspective Shift

When looking at the world around me, I have to say that my view has changed tremendously due to my own personal experiences. The way I viewed the world 10 years ago is much more different than how I view it now. You would probably think I’m crazy if I told you that I was able to see and live life as a privileged white girl (excuse my tone), and also have the opportunity to see/live it as a minority. How you ask?

Pretty much, I put a scarf on my head in the middle of America. 

Growing up, I was nothing less than the All American Girl. I mean, honestly, I knew no other way to live. I was raised in a loving family who always pushed me to be my best. I was in gymnastics, soccer, and volleyball growing up and I loved being a part of each of those teams. I attended sunday school where I learned to love my neighbor, be kind to people, and to believe in a being greater than all of us. When I entered high school, I would go out with all my friends to go shopping, experiment with makeup, talk about boys and just get into trouble like every other girl in their teens. Every summer, I would be swimming with all my cousins at my aunt’s pool until we were tired and then we would all go out for tacos and slushies’ afterwards. Also, you would probably find me studying for a random class I was taking at the time too. In general, though, that was my life. It was so simple and if I could remember one thing before wearing the hijab- it was that people smiled a lot more when I walked into the room.

When getting into college, I started to really evaluate my life. Being raised in an Islamic and Christian family made me question religion a hell of a lot more. Throughout high school, you probably would never hear me say anything about religion because I really just didn’t care for it. My older brother started studying and comparing religions which lead him to read through both scripts and he shared everything he found with me. I’m not here to bash another religion by any means but I have to say that I personally found that Islam was the right religion for me. So, I began reading the Quran and my heart gravitated towards it and I believed that this was the truth, this was the book of all the prophets that came before, and that it was truly the last message.

Once I made that conscience decision that this religion is true, my life started to change in so many ways. For me, I felt that if I knew a religion was the truth, I didn’t want to follow it half way- I wanted to embrace it. That is what lead me to wear the hijab (veil).  I began practicing to wear the hijab until December 21^st, 2012 when I permanently started to wear it (which btw it was supposed to be the end of the world according to the Mayans lol- well that was a LIE haha). I had no idea that wearing the hijab would make me a minority.

I became a person who could be identified as a Muslim Woman- and that is not the majority, especially in America.

When entering a room with hijab, there is almost always an instant pause by most people. Also, can we just talk about the unnecessary staring at restaurants?… like let’s chill out with that- it’s just a scarf. And the awkward tension that definitely exists in a classroom- you can tell that sometimes people are pushed back and they don’t know how to talk to you because they believe you aren’t really one of them or that they just can’t relate to you. When in reality, I would be more than happy to answer your questions than for you to make your own assumptions. The worst is going into a store and actually being followed by someone in the store. It’s just weird to know that it never happened before wearing the hijab. Also, from my experience I found that it is definitely more difficult for the older generation than it is for the younger generation to accept a person who is a minority, partly because  many of them haven’t been exposed to a lot of diversity. For some reason though, it has become acceptable to treat minorities differently, and that is the hardest thing to experience I must say. It’s a tragedy when feeling weird is your new normal.

I honestly never believed that I would be treated any differently in hijab because I knew that my heart and personality never changed but my looks were taken out of the game. It was shocking to me that this piece of material on my head could make people look at me different. It still baffles me to this day that when some people look at me they believe I am a “Media Muslim”. That they would believe that I am tied to BAD people, who committed TRAGIC crimes, in the name of a religion when common sense says that these are just bad people, and this has nothing to do with a religion and its true followers. Of course, it becomes 10x harder to coexist when the leader of your country repeatedly preaches xenophobic ideology. All I can say is before you judge a muslim, read the Quran in it’s correct context before believing everything you hear.

Being part of the minority is not easy. I know many women who were born and raised in the United States can relate to the shift of treatment before and after wearing hijab. I know how difficult it is to feel that way and to feel unaccepted at times- especially in areas that are not predominantly Muslim. I know it’s going to be an ongoing struggle. I know the pain you feel when you have to prove your humanity. Let me tell you this though- you are strong and experiences like this will only make you stronger and more confident in who you are. Remember that God is watching and this hardship of wearing hijab will be your greatest reward on the last day iA.  Never forget that we’re in this together and you have to remind yourself that you aren’t alone. 

All of these things don’t change the fact that Nebraska is my home and I love the life my family and I have made here. Overall, these experiences are only reflections of the bad experiences I have had which only account for about 20% of my experience here. It does not outweigh the kind acts that I also receive here at home. I will always do my best to push the normalization of hijab as best I can even if that is just by having conversations with people. The diversity in Omaha is slowly progressing and I know one day diversity will be celebrated here. Remember that ignorance can be fought with communication. Sometimes people just want to understand you and you have to tuck your sensitivities away, and sympathize with them as well. Always use your voice and be kind to others so that you can be the example of a Muslim that they can remember for years to come.